你怎么能告诉如果有人控制吗?

什么是控股人?

这里是我的定义:

控股人是谁的人对他/她的心脏的宝座自我。此人也希望别人,甚至上帝,提交给他们的一切。他们认为,这是上帝赋予他们的权利和责任,以让其他人做他们认为是最好的。有时,由于担心自己的亲人的安全。其他时候,出于骄傲。常兼有。

一个控制人不服从基督的主权,寻求上帝的旨意第一,或拥抱虚心向自己死。

一个控制人试图接手别人的上帝赋予的自由意志和决策。这是远远超出导致或影响或分享想法,意见或鼓励。一个控制人试图强迫,操纵和强迫别人做他们的意志,并得到非常不安或焦虑,如果别人不配合。

一个控制人可能认为他们持有了宇宙,在许多方面。他们认为他们最清楚。他们认为他们的努力坍塌陷入混乱藏在心里。他们认为,他们拥有一些只有上帝真正拥有主权。

他们认为,自己的责任超出他们实际做进其他人的生命和上帝的责任,一直延伸。他们在不知不觉中上当受骗,使他们在不正常的方式行事。

当然,关键是一个健康的,神圣的婚姻,对夫妻双方完全独立降伏自己,以耶稣的主权,并寻求他的意志远在自己之上。

你怎么能知道是否有人控制?

它辨别正确,如果你的配偶(或其他人)被控制,或者如果你有歪斜的思维是非常重要的。或者你可以有两种情况同时回事。

14种控制的类型

这是我们与他人交往时功能紊乱性的旧罪性是在控制一切光明正大。

  1. 压力
  2. 负罪感
  3. 玩烈士
  4. 自或幸福/自恋的偶像
  5. 侮辱
  6. 用绳子贿赂/礼品附
  7. 挑衅/统治/威胁/暴力/虐待
  8. Gaslighting
  9. 操纵
  10. 被动攻击
  11. 问诊
  12. 静音处理
  13. Neediness / clinginess
  14. 隔离从其他人的人,并在他们的生命中的每外界影响

有很多可能发生的情况,我们可能会觉得有人在控制

有些情况下,实际上是关于另一个人的控制和别人都没有。

我们可能会觉得有人正试图控制我们...

  • 而且他们。一个人正试图使我们属于我们的决定。他们不明白,他们的职责结束。或者,他们正在试图接管作为我们的圣灵,并采取在不属于他们的上帝的权威。他们可能会认为他们是有爱心,保护,或帮助我们。他们可能没有看到他们在做什么是进攻。但他们越雷池一步。
  • 但他们不是。也许有人只是想给我们的爱,律师和中肯的意见。这并不一定控制。我们可能不希望或欣赏他们的意见,但另一些人告诉我们他们的想法或建议不一定控制行为。这是当他们试图迫使我们做什么,他们认为是最好的,它成为一个问题。如果我们再也不想听到别人的想法,或者从我们自己不同的想法,我们可能有心脏问题在我们这边,需要学习收到律师,建设性的批评和责备敬虔。我们可以处理一个进攻精神
  • 但是,我们的肉体就是在那个时候只是弱。有时,我们的情怀告诉我们,有人试图控制我们,但我们误判的情况。我们的情绪并不总是准确的。如果我们都用尽,激素,真的饿了,等...有时与他人的正常的相互作用可以的时候都没有感到压抑。或者,我们可以在消极思想螺旋这是基于假设,而不是事实。
  • 但是有人用合法的上帝赐予的权力正试图带领我们采用适当的方式。也许我们都不愿履行自己的领导或主。如果我的老板给了我一个任务,要我改一下我与客户的做法事,或告诉我,我有一些领域,我需要提高,未控制。这是适当的领导。如果我的导师亲切,恭敬地面对我,在我的生命罪,那也是一种幸福。如果我作为一个母亲,问我的小学适龄儿童9时至下午准备睡觉(不大喊大叫或侮辱他们),没有被控制。

(根据圣经)上帝赐予的领导人包括:

  • 对未成年子女的父母(弗。6:1-2)
  • 丈夫(西3:18-19,弗。5:22-33,林前11:3,我的宠物。3:1-7)
  • 老板(弗。6:6-9)
  • 牧师/教会领袖(希13:7,徒20:28,提前3,詹姆斯3:1)
  • 政府领导人/军事/警察(罗。13:1-7)

这些负责人都在上帝面前,以保护那些在他们的照顾,给他们带来基督,做什么是最适合自己的,要设置敬虔的例子,兑现主在他们的决定。

耶稣叫他们来,说:“你知道,外邦人称王称霸他们的统治者......它不得你们中间也如此。但是,谁是伟大中,你必须是你的仆人,谁就将是第一批,你必须是你的奴隶,甚至作为人子来,不是要被服务,但服务,并且要舍命,作多人的赎价。”

马特。20:25-28

当然,有些人担任领导职务行为 like selfish tyrants and truly are controlling or abusive, harming others.This is completely unacceptable in God’s eyes.

“祸谁残害,赶散我草场之羊牧羊人!” declares the Lord.”

耶利米书23:1

它可能会比较混乱理清头绪。

我们需要圣灵的智慧和洞察力看到自己和别人正确地根据圣经。

If Someone Is a God-Given Leader in Our Lives

We need to be sure that if we feel someone is trying to control us who does have a权力的合法地位that we respect the position, the person, and God’s design.We treat them with honor.We seek to have a generally cooperative spirit whenever possible.Ultimately, we do this to honor Christ, and because we trust Him and submit ourselves to Him above all else not because the person deserves it.

Our willingness to cooperate with people in positions of leadership isn’t about them being perfect or infallible.They are not deity.They are supposed to be God’s agents to bring order and blessing.They are supposed to serve others humbly with love.

But they don’t get to demand to control our thoughts, our faith, our decisions, etc… We also can’t follow them into anything God calls, “sin” or false teaching.有次我们不能提交一个人在领导的位置。

“我们必须服从上帝,而不是人。”

徒5:28

If someone oversteps their God-given position as a leader, spouse, friend, or family member, we may need to恭恭敬敬地解决这一问题。(If we are being abused or are not safe, we can to reach out for help from other authorities ASAP.)

Ultimately, we each answer to God, alone.All people in leadership positions answer to Him, too.No one has authority from God to coerce us into sinning or to abuse others.And没有人有权力等于上帝和他的话语。

Abuse of Leadership Is Not Okay

If a husband says, “I am Christ to you.You have to do anything I say, whether it is sin or not.You have to go through me to get to God.You must bow to me!” That is not godly leadership.It is inappropriate and outrageous.A person who demands to be treated as a deity is not following God or listening to Him.He is following the enemy.Satan demanded to be equal to God.

See what God did when Herod allowed people to honor him as deity.Or what God did to Nebuchadnezzar to humble him from his pride.

世界上只有一个上帝,只有他是值得我们崇拜和顺服的。

没有人有权利问别人侵犯的权利最大的诫命。或者有什么神的诫命。

Or if a husband said, “We’re going to have a threesome with this woman.You have to obey me.” Or, “You have to watch porn with me.” That is not appropriate leadership.He has no authority to tell you to commit sexual immorality against the Lord.

If a husband says, “You have to respect me so that means I can cuss you out and hit you and you have to stand there and take it and say nothing.” That is not remotely what God had in mind for leadership.上帝憎恶暴力和虐待。God provides other authorities (pastors, counselors, thehotline.org, doctors, and the police) so that we can reach out for help if someone abuses us.

If you feel like your husband is controlling because he won’t let you have any contact with anyone else, he threatens your safety, he often has an uncontrollable temper, he emotionally/verbally continually insults and berates you, he gaslights you, he tries to force you to do things by coercion or violence, he makes extremely unreasonable demands, etc… the main issue is probably on his end and you may need additional help.This is not okay.

Sometimes these situations are very black and white.Other times, they are more gray and difficult to discern.That’s why we need the Spirit and the Bible to help us every day so we can make the right choices in His sight.

你的话是我脚前,我路上的光灯。

诗篇119:105

Godly Leadership Is Not Controlling or Abusive

If you have your关于神,自己和其他人自己的偏斜的思想,it is possible for you to feel controlled when someone in a position of leadership is just trying to导致在一个虔诚的方式。

For example, if your husband says, “We are spending way too much.My hours have been cut at work.Let’s try to keep our spending to $150 per week on groceries for the time being.” That is wise leadership.Not control.A wife would honor the Lord by having a cooperative spirit with her husband’s leadership.There is only so much money so both spouses will have to cooperate to avoid going into debt.We are all to be godly stewards.

Or if your husband says, “I think you have too many commitments on your plate.You’ve been exhausted and stressed so much lately.I think it would be a good idea for you to give up your ministry at church for a while so you can have more energy and get more rest.” That is wise, God-honoring leadership.He is looking out for your best interests and trying to take care of you.

Maybe your husband notices that your best friend is encouraging you to go against the Lord or against your marriage and loves to complain, argue, and cause drama.If he says, “I‘d like you to limit your time with her,” that is wise.You can look at Scripture and see that we are not to surround ourselves with divisive people who gossip, tear others down, and lead us astray.

If you feel like your husband is controlling when he offers loving advice, guidance, protection, wisdom, or a perspective that is different from yours, the issue may be on your end.

Of course, sometimes there are problems on both sides.Interestingly, as we allow God to change us and make us more like Jesus, amazing things can happen.他可以给我们,我们需要在我们的情况洞察力和智慧。

下周,我打算约不健康的,健康的方式配偶分享信息和他人控制的人作出回应。

分享

难道神出你的智慧约承认在别人的控制,你想与大家分享?

你如何认识自己的生活控制或歪斜的想法?

我们很乐意听到主如何设置你自由。<3

有关

这是怎么回事在控制人的头部?

疼痛是推动我们控制

精神权威课堂笔记(从启哈罗德·韦弗在我的教会)

治愈我的冲动控制

什么是圣经说一下如何使用控制人们处理?通过www.gotquestions.org

有关控制人的诗句

8 thoughts to “How Can You Tell If Someone Is Controlling?”

  1. 挂在每一个字。如何相关,这是因为当面对恐惧和不幸这些趋势中脱颖而出。非常感谢智慧的指导和安慰大家分享。

    1. Cassandra,

      Absolutely!Our fears and core beliefs come racing to the surface when we are under stress.It is an incredible opportunity to allow the refining fire of God to work in us all during this time.I love how gold refiners keep skimming the dross off of the surface until they can see their reflection in the gold.That is exactly what God wants to do with us during trials.

      Much love!

    1. Amber W.,
      It is a very foundational topic, yes!If we can get our hearts and minds wrapped around the difference between God’s responsibilities, other people’s responsibilities, and our own, we are on the path to peace and healthy relationship.

      Stay tuned!We’ll be talking about how we can react when we feel controlled by someone next week.<3

  2. 我再一次意识到,我这么控制。我在情感操纵别人让我的方式绝望的处境。我会忏悔这个罪。谢谢你给了很好的例子,并明确告知我。请写更多有关如何停止被控制。
    谢谢!我爱您的博客和书籍。他们帮助了我很多东西要尊重妻子和基督的更好的跟随者。

    1. Yorkie,

      What a blessing to be able to see this!It is a huge step toward healing.

      I plan to write a lot more posts on stopping control and ways we can honor and respect others, especially our husbands.

      You can also search my blog for things like:
      the pain that pushes us to control
      the cure for my compulsion to control
      becoming fearless
      8 powerful keys to real peace
      killing bitterness
      look upward
      Look inward
      Look outward at others in divine new ways

      Much love!

  3. 这是我的东西我的妻子和平FB博客网页上共享的今天可能是一个祝福:

    通常情况下,谁与控制中挣脱出来的女人经历了一些重大创伤或疼痛时,她还年轻。她做了对付它的最好她可以,但结束了这是从来没有纠正扭曲的思维。她需要精神和情感愈合。

    父母面临的问题

    也许是女孩的父母都是瘾君子,很恶心,精神创伤,严重受伤,或不存在。也许女儿承担了太多的责任早,想着其他的父母或兄弟姐妹不能没有她的生存。也许她想成为一个母亲给她的,因为她的妈妈真实的或明显缺乏为人父母的兄弟姐妹。她可能曾经试图“是成人”因为也许大人并没有在她的脑海里走自己的责任关怀正常。

    当父母不能照顾她和她的兄弟姐妹好,一个女孩可能开始认为是神是怎么了。弱。懦弱。或不可用。而这唯一的一个,她可以依靠就是她自己。

    外伤或悲剧

    或者,也许一个女孩犯了一个错误,导致有人伤病。或者她正好是当周围可怕的事情发生了,她认为这是她的错。她住超过所发生的可怕的事情破碎内疚,发誓绝不让别人爱她再次受到伤害。

    WRONG神学

    她本来也有一个牧师谁专注于她的责任,见证了别人,但并未谈及圣灵开启了人们的眼睛,或神的主权。也许教会没有谈论每个人的责任,无论是精神上(罗。1)。她可能误会和被其他人的得救和与主的关系亲自负责全部负担采取。

    这三样东西都是非常沉重的精神/情感的权重为孩子们随身携带。

    文化支撑

    我们的文化支持妇女服用充被控制。这是庆祝和鼓励。不尊重他人,尤其是丈夫,是主流。多数妻子有朋友谁也鼓励丈夫扑和支持妻子试图控制的东西作为结婚的方式应该是。

    我知道,人谁可以清楚地看到这个问题,这是非常明显的属于上帝,他人和自己有什么责任。但有人谁开发倾斜的思维从未被纠正孩子,它可以是很难看得清。尤其是当我们周围的人认可我们的心态。

    一个悲惨的生活方式

    我不认为谁是被困在这个大多数人的心态打算伤害他人。他们被欺骗了。他们认为,他们正在帮助在他们知道如何的唯一途径爱他们在许多情况下。他们焦虑,害怕,孤独,沮丧,和疲惫,但他们不知道有希望。而大多数的丈夫,朋友或其他家庭成员可能没有意识到问题有多深或如何解决的核心问题。

    根据我的经验,真正的根源的问题是,他们认为责任是合法他们让他们免受伤害所爱的人,并把事情制定出正确的神的旨意。

    重量是非常繁重的,但他们不知道,他们可以将它放下。他们认为,如果他们让其他人去会受到伤害。他们无法忍受的不负责任或松弛的思想。

    这些妇女如此努力去爱别人,他们感到不受重视但不知道什么是错的。他们认为,如果每个人都只是做他们说什么,然后一切都会好起来。他们没有意识到他们无法看清楚。他们需要有人给他们扔绳子。不是谴责他们,而是给他们希望和出路的黑暗的地牢中。

    有希望耶稣!

    审视我们的身份,神的身份,和其他人我们的核心信念可以是痛苦和困难的工作。这是可怕的东西,在仅在你最英航sic beliefs and realizing some of the things you embraced as truth for decades are wrong and needs to be torn out of your life and completely rebuilt.

    Some people are too afraid to even go there.But it is a necessary part of finding healing and freedom in Christ.It takes courage.And it is worth it!

    Here are the basic steps to freedom from a controlling mindset:

    1.We humbly admit that we have been wrong.We have been sitting on the throne of our lives thinking we knew best, trusting ourselves.But our wisdom is toxic.

    2.We must get down off of the throne, accepting we are not God.We turn from our wrong thinking and repent.We realize we have built our lives on sinking sand.

    2.We acknowledge that Jesus is God and He, alone, is Lord of all and Lord of our lives.We acknowledge that His wisdom is infinitely greater than our own.We invite the Prince of Peace to reign on the throne of our hearts from this moment on.

    3.We ask God to change us and make us more like Jesus.We are willing to let Him examine the darkest corners of our minds and hearts and we are willing to get rid of anything He says has to go.

    4.We build our lives on Christ and the Solid Rock of His Word.We align our hearts, minds, and lives with the Bible.

    My prayer is for God to bring about His healing for us all through the power of His love, His Word, His truth, and His Spirit.

    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt.11:28-30

    If you are struggling with control and don’t know how to find freedom in Christ, reach out to me!I’ll be glad to share any resources I can to bless you and help you find the abundant spiritual life that is freely available to you in Jesus Christ.<3

    That is what I hope to help women do on my sites and in my books, "The Peaceful Wife" and "The Peaceful Mom." (Available on Amazon, Christian Book, and Barnes and Noble online.)

  4. pingback的: betway 桌球

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