man in business attire holding tablet looking at financial charts and graphs

为什么我交到财务计划交给我的丈夫

16年来我们26年结婚,我处理的票据和财务状况。格雷格和我都相当保守,并负责与金钱。所以我们一直非常在这个领域在同一页上,谢天谢地。

我们早在我们的婚姻已经达成协议,我们将检查与对方如果我们要一定量的一次性花费超过。

我们总是有联名账户,这对于我们运作良好。我们都不是在花钱。我们每个月都还清了所有的信用卡账单,我们在那些早年进行的唯一债务抵押我们有时一车款。(虽然我们驾驶我们的汽车,直到他们是很老,所以我们经常没有车款,这是真棒。)

在我的婚姻放弃控制权

当我了解了荣誉和尊重地对待我的丈夫和关于放弃trying to control him,我意识到,我和我们的钱很OCD。我查了网上帐户每天多次。我倾向于缠住对账单,有多少我们在支票账户。

我也倾向于在消费什么我想花比我与他想要的东西更慷慨的自己。

多年来,我做了一个好一点的钱比格雷格没有和我倾向于这样的感觉在婚姻给了我更多的动力莫名其妙。特别是随着我处理账单。

我决定这将是更好,如果我把账单支付和财务管理格雷格。不是因为我不能这样做。我做了它在一个非常负责任的方式多年。但是,因为它是另一种方式,我可以表明信任,让格雷格有后,我曾试图控制几乎所有的东西这么多年多一点控制一些重要的东西。

有一天,我把财务给我的丈夫

所以有一天我只是给了他所有的账单和passwords to the accounts and said something like, “I think it would be better if you are in charge of the bills.I think I am being too controlling with the money and I want you to feel like you have more freedom to lead in this area.” Then I left it with him and didn’t check on it again (after I had recently paid everything for the month).

At first, Greg wasn’t really excited about the idea.But he saw that I tended to stress over the bills.After a week or so, he picked it up.

Greg put almost everything on autopay and began to really enjoy paying the bills and handling the finances.

He said it was an extra weight but “it felt kind of neat.”

The Results

He has done aphenomenaljob with our finances and because he had more involvement with our accounts, he started finding better deals and ways we could be better stewards of our money.I had expressed the desire to change things to save money when I was in charge, but he wasn’t very involved in the finances and didn’t feel the weight of it directly.

It worked better for us for him to be the one to figure things out like that and I was always happy to cooperate with whatever he felt was best.

I was a bit worried that he wouldn’t continue tithing.But he did.I mentioned once that I would really like for us to continue to tithe and he has always handled it.

I was there if he wanted help, of course, but he didn’t need it.I was shocked how me letting go of paying the bills took quite a lot of weight and heaviness off of my shoulders.

Greg really thrived on leading in this new way.And he began to grow by leaps and bounds in confidence after many years of tending to be more passive while I took charge.My husband finally being at the helm of the financial ship was the best financial decision I believe I have ever made.

He eventually started researching a lot more about investing and became extremely knowledgeable.At this point, his knowledge is far past mine on all things financial.

Now he makes more money than I do, but no matter who makes the most money, I am very happy to let him handle things.Of course, he involves me in major decisions, he asks for my input, and he trusts me to spend appropriately.I support his leading and spend responsibly.So we both trust each other and are more on the same page than ever.

Every Christian Couple Needs to Decide How They Want to Handle Their Finances

Every couple has to decide how they want to handle their finances.As long as you are honoring Scripture, you can do whatever works best for you.I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to do exactly what we did.

Some husbands don’t have a lot of time and prefer for their wives to pay the bills.This can work as long as the wife sees herself as part of a cooperative team with her husband, not as his boss with the money.

In my view, both spouses usually want to have a voice in the finances, budgeting, and spending.And I believe both need some discretionary income.It rarely seems to work well when one spouse hounds the other over every dime they spend.Or if one spouse has to beg for money from the other.

Of course, if you can’t agree, thehusband is ultimately accountable for the leadership decisions,so seek to honor your husband and what he believes is best, (as long as he isn’t leading you into sin).

If one spouse has issues with compulsive spending, mania, ADD/ADHD, gambling addictions, drug/alcohol addictions, difficulties with math, etc… those are important things to prayerfully consider when you decide how you want to handle your finances.Or if one spouse is committing adultery or a compulsive liar, having joint accounts may not be a wise idea until trust is restored.

You may need a financial counselor, Christian mentor, and/or medical help depending on your situation.

I like the idea of spouses sharing joint accounts.To me, it contributes to the sense of unity and oneness, knowing that whatever money we each make, it is “ours,” not “mine and yours.”

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If you and your husband have a great method for handling the money, we’d love to hear about it!

Related Posts

Money and the Ugly Truth – by Kayla

What Is the Best Way to Handle the Finances?

Another Wife Shares About Finances and Trust

Resources

Dave Ramseyhas courses to help you find financial peace that may be a blessing to your marriage and finances that I invite you to check out.

What Does the Bible Say about Managing Your Finances?by www.gotquestions.org

4 thoughts to “Why I Handed the Finances Over to My Husband”

  1. My husband and I disagree on a lot of things, but this is one area- Praise the Lord, has not been an issue.我们都做全职工作。有时钱已经tight & other times it has not been a problem.What has worked very well for us, is a joint account.On pay day we each get X amount to spend on whatever we want, no questions asked (given of course it’s not on drugs or other women/men).All else is used for bills, savings, house projects, etc… This has helped us enjoy the fruits of our labor, but also use our resources wisely.

    1. Jessica Zuroske,

      Thanks so much for sharing!Marriage can be very difficult with two people who have entirely different perspectives and ideas.I’m so thankful this works well for you.I also like hearing about your plan to have a certain amount of spending money for each of you.

      Blessings!

  2. At the start of our marriage, hubby and I earned the same so we split our bills so each of us took care of different monthly items.He paid the mortgage, I paid the utilities and food.We each handled our own car and credit card payment.This worked beautifully for a number of years.
    As an unexpected disability hit me, my income was drastically reduced and a new negotiation was needed.Hubby took care of everything for a while.While he was fine with the finances he felt bogged down with the paperwork.So we arranged for the bank to transfer the amount of our monthly bills into my account from his, and from there I handle paying everything.I do have a small income and so purchase food and pay my own credit card bills, and just pay out the other bills out of my account with money transferred from his.
    He has the burden of paperwork lifted from his shoulders.The only bill he handles is his credit card.Keeping separate accounts has worked for us for a long time.Neither feels like we need to give account for our spending.Both of us are really responsible with money and we also set an amount over which we need to consult with the other.
    There are times where he does take the lead though.After asking how much I have, if I have saved a bit he will transfer it back to his account and soon after I receive notification that my retirement account is funded.I love that he is looking out for me that way.(He also has his own retirement accounts.)
    For us, separate accounts work.However, I think revisiting the agreement as necessary is the key to insuring continued satisfaction.

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