Red and white alarm clock with teal background

你的丈夫想要提醒吗?

Sometimes we wives feel compelled to remind our husbands of the things on the to-do list:

  • 现在是时候刷牙。
  • 亲爱的,你看你的圣经但今天?
  • 宝贝,你一定要放气你的车?
  • 糖,你读过ACME在工作中发送给您的建议?
  • 你跟你的老板对你的同事如何粗鲁了吗?

You may have the best of intentions.You may think you are being helpful.I sure did!But does your husband view the reminders as helpful or does it feel disrespectful to him?That’s the real question.

大多数丈夫不喜欢接受很多他们需要做的事情提醒。这使他们感觉他们的妻子认为他们是不称职的。

Is this area a struggle for you?

Does my husband need my constant reminders to function in life?

I sometimes like reminders these days because I have so many things on my mind and I tend to be forgetful sometimes.So I ask my husband and kids to remind me about certain things, I leave myself notes, send myself emails, and set my phone alarm for everything to try to avoid missing something important.

有些做丈夫的可以欣赏某些种类的友善提醒。那很好,如果你有关于达成协议!This is an area that will be unique for each couple and it may change over the course of the marriage depending on circumstances and personalities.

Turns out my husband is totally capable of handling his adult life without me giving him a lot of reminders.He uses his phone and has his own system to handle things.

If you obsess over what your husband is supposed to do even though he handles things well and doesn’t want reminders, today may be a good time to back off.

He doesn’t want to be your little boy.He wants to be your hero and your man.Thank him for doing such a great job taking care of you and let him do his thing.

Men are drawn to people and places where they feel admired, appreciated, and respected.If he feels like you are treating him like an incompetent kid, that can be a turn-off.

If something is his responsibility and you know he doesn’t want reminders, you just leave it on his “side of the table” and let him deal with it.You don’t have to say anything about it.

Obviously if there is an emergency, you may need to step in and help.But generally, he will appreciate you letting him run his own life and take care of his responsibilities.这是尊重和它表明了他的信任和信心。

尊重,信任,信任是一个牢固的婚姻必不可少的成分。

你可能会不喜欢它,如果你的丈夫在不断帮腔说这类话:

  • 不要忘了刷牙。
  • 你改变你今天的内衣?
  • 当是你有一个淋浴是什么时候?
  • 你看过所有的工作邮件了吗?你回答他们每个人的?
  • 你叫你的父母这一周?

(除非你请他帮你记住这些事情。值得庆幸的是,我还没有得到健忘呢!哈!)

不给予提醒我丈夫的例子:

驾驶

如果我觉得很想告诉我的丈夫怎么开车或采取哪种方式,他知道的方式,我只需要想别的事情,享受和他在一起,并且信任他处理的驱动,而不是试图告诉他如何 to drive.

当然,如果他想要我的地图或方向的帮助,我可以恭恭敬敬地礼貌地分享。或者,如果关于州际的消息,我看见一些被关闭,因为沉船的时间,我会恭敬地与他分享这些信息。他可能会想知道,如果他还没有看到报告。

如果我知道他错过了一个出口,我知道我的丈夫会感激我告诉他,我可以说,在友好的方式,“嘿,亲爱的,是我们的出口?” And then he can handle getting back to it unless he asks me for assistance.

否则,我通常不会太注意我们要去的地方或他采取哪种方式,我只是享受乘坐,很高兴能与我的男人。

一位读者的建议

这里是我的共享惊人的读者的一个东西(她许可):

我丈夫用他的手机提醒和具有后门一个记事本。至于“做”的项目上来,我们只是将它们添加(如在A / C单元更换过滤器,等...)。很少有东西做我不得不提醒或唠叨他一下。

该系统非常适用于我们。他穿越而过,因为它得到这样做,我不需要怀疑或问,如果我还不知道。

从四月 - 我喜欢这个主意!事情就做。丈夫感到尊重。妻子知道发生了什么事。有和谐,都是正确的与世界同步。

辉煌!

非控股的方式到我的婚姻滋养亲密

我的丈夫是启发,是因为我退一步更多的能力和信任他处理的小细节。(除非他是处理心理健康问题,显著罪的问题,或成瘾,那么我可能需要寻求帮助了。)

我的目标是:

  • 只有份额,如果我需要或想要的东西后,一般。(可以有例外,当然。但即便如此,我尝试份额友好,尊重的方式,而不是一个对抗性的方式。)
  • 如果是他知道了,我让他处理自己的问题,我不干预或提醒他。

如果他订购的东西的家庭,我可能会问以友好的方式有时什么,他下令或事物时,可刚抵达,以保持自己在环。但是,我不决定于他,他应该做的。

我在那里:

  • 反弹的想法过的。
  • 分享我的观点和意见。
  • 欣赏他所做的一切对我来说。
  • 享受他。
  • 佩服他。
  • 要感谢他和他的领导和能力。
  • 鼓励他。
  • 尊重他。
  • 尊敬他。
  • 与他合作的领导
  • 启发他。
  • 祝福他。
  • 帮助他赞赏的方式。
  • 荣誉主!

然而,让每一个你爱的his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

弗。5:33

我十几岁的儿子并不需要尽可能多的提醒或这些天。

我不得不与我的儿子一遍学这个,因为他是18,现在刚开始上大学。所以,我有步骤的方式回来,让他飙升或下跌更多关于他自己的。这是很难退后一步,有时。我不是说很容易!但它是必要的,对他和对我的健康。

有关

如果我想提出一个请求或建议,我的丈夫,我问路,我的动机,以及多久我问产生很大的差别。我对这样的事情,可以帮助几个职位。这里有几个!

关于如何为你的愿望是什么恭请17个提示

语音挑战的音

6种方法不要问你的男人把他的衣服离开

分享

任何智慧的人想从战壕分享?我们很想听听您的建议和鼓励!

11 thoughts to “Does Your Husband Want Reminders?”

  1. I usually try not to remind him of daily tasks.But I am sure I forget at times and overstep.There are other times when I ask him to do something and he does want me to remind him in case he forgets.(For example, getting the fall decor down from the attic.) But I feel like a nag when I remind him, so I often let things go or wind up doing it myself.And then he will ask why I didn’t remind him.LOL.So there definitely needs to be a balance.And I am sure every husband has different limits.

    1. Bridget A.Thomas,

      I think if there is something you would like to request of him, it’s totally fine to ask respectfully.“Hey, Babe, would you please pull the fall decorations down for me sometime this week?That would be so great!”

      Yes, there does need to be a balance.And certain husbands appreciate reminders in some areas but may feel annoyed by reminders in other areas or really frequent reminders.

      Great point!

        1. Bridget A.Thomas,

          You’re welcome.Nagging usually implies mentioning something multiple times.This would be a great thing to talk about and say, “I never want to annoy you with unnecessary reminders.But I do want to feel like I can ask for things respectfully.What are your pet peeves?Are there certain things you don’t want me to remind you of?What things you are okay with me mentioning if I don’t nag?”

          Much love!

  2. My husband has actual memory issues among other things, so he often asks me to remind him of things.I try very hard to be friendly and respectful about it though, and to balance giving him those reminders without actually being a pest.

    Day to day things though, like brushing teeth, I can’t even imagine doing that unless he very specifically asked me to.Perhaps because I grew up in a home where my mom was the total queen bee, I tend to be very careful about that.

    Where I can run into trouble though is when he says he is going to do something that I think is a bad idea.I have yet to figure out how to mention my concerns without it feeling like I’m being bossy.

    1. Christy,

      Yes, for husbands with certain situations like memory issues or ADD, they may need a wife to help with some administrative things like scheduling or helping them remember to do certain things.If both spouses can agree on a respectful, friendly way for the wife to help with reminders, that is ideal.I love that you try to be friendly and respectful.That is awesome!

      If he had Alzheimers or something significant, perhaps he may need reminders like that, but you’re right, most adults wouldn’t appreciate that kind of level of attention to their daily routine from someone else.It can feel really smothering or like the other person is being controlling, and it is icky to be on the receiving end of that, as you have seen firsthand.

      So with this, it depends on a whole lot of issues as to how a wife can best handle it.It’s a great topic for a post.I may try to do that soon.But some general things to consider may be:

      – Is it really a big deal?If it is not, then it may not be worth addressing it.If he is going to spend $10 over what I would like him to spend on shoes and we are not destitute, I probably won’t say anything.

      – If it is sin, that’s a problem.If he wants to get drunk with friends and drive, if he wants to look at porn, if he is doing something that could put him in a very precarious situation with another woman, if he wants to do something illegal, if he wants to lie on the taxes… In those situations, I do need to speak up.I may say something like, “Honey, what you want to do here concerns me very much.I don’t want to tell you what to do.I know you’re a grown man and I respect that.But it is going to be pretty difficult for me to trust you to lead our household if you go through with something God calls sin.Please don’t do this.You’re a better man than this and I don’t want to lose any respect for you.”

      – Is it is a matter of different priorities, personal convictions, or perspectives?If so, then I could say something like, “May I share my thoughts on this idea, please?” Or “I would rather we not do this.Could we do that instead, please?” Or, “I’m not really excited about this idea.Is there another option?”

      There is also the concept ofsubmitting under protestwhere a husband makes a decision the wife doesn’t like, but it is not sinful.她认为这不是尊重股票 a good idea, but that she will honor his leadership and cooperate with him if he truly believes that is best for the family and it is what will most honor the Lord.

      Of course, there are many other possible issues that could arise, as well.But those are a few that cover a wide range.

      We do have a voice.We are to use our godly influence.But we are not to force our way.That can be a delicate balance.

      Here is a post that helps a lot, too, in my view.How to Influence an Unbelieving Husband for Christ– but it is a beautiful approach with believing husbands, too.

      Let me know if you need more resources.Thanks for the comment!

      Much love!

  3. Hi Ladies, This is very challenging for me and not sure how to handle it.My husband has ADHD and it is bad, he will not take medications, which I agree with, he will not read about it for helpful suggestions.I am an RN and have given patients some ideas, I have tried to put things in place to make it easier for him.He just won’t do it.Everyday I am sucked into his ADHD because he forgets or loses something.I have recently stopped helping him look for items he misplaced but when we are going somewhere and he has to look for the keys or his phone……many times we will get down the road and he has to turn around and go back to the house because he forgot something.I am at my wits end.What do I do besides pray?
    I/we need help..although he doesn’t think he needs help.

    1. Nicolelinn45,

      I am quite familiar with ADHD and have seen amazing results with medication as a pharmacist.I definitely understand the desire not to take meds and to handle it in other ways.

      One of my favorite resources is Dr Hallowell.He doesn’t talk about being a Christian but he specializes in ADD/ADHD and has the condition, himself, as well.

      He has a lot of great resources for children, teens, and adults with ADD/ADHD.He also has a book called“Married to Distraction”for spouses to help them.

      If your husband has a significant case of ADD/ADHD, it is extremely stressful on him and the family, particularly if it is untreated and if he is unwilling to learn about the disorder.

      But I believe you can read this book and glean a lot of helpful ideas from it even if he doesn’t want to read about it.What I really love about Dr.Hallowell’s approach is that he views ADD/ADHD not as a disease, but as a brain that works very differently with special gifts and weaknesses.He tries to help people harness the gifts and manage the weaknesses so they can live productive lives.

      Your husband may not realize how much better his life could be if this is how things have always been.I invite you to check out the book and resources onthis site.Of course, please compare anything he says to God’s Word.

      You can’t change or fix your husband.But you can be the helpmeet he needs.In a case like this, you may need to be a lot more involved than most wives with reminders.Not in a disrespectful way, but in a way that says, “We’re a team and together we can tackle ADHD and have a wonderful, God-honoring life!”

      Much love to you.Praying for wisdom for you and for a soft heart for him to learn about this and the options he has that will help him thrive.

      1. Thank you for responding.I have the book Driven to Distraction.Everything is packed up right now because we are moving.I will look for the marriage book.God has to have a purpose for this.Your words are wise.Thank you

        1. nicolinn45,

          Yes, God can absolutely use this to bring beauty and blessing as you seek Him.Praying for His comfort, discernment, and Spirit’s power for you both.

          Much love to you!

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